Okay so I am actually writing this account on day 56. So bad, I need to stop doing this!
Anyway let me get right into it. I feel as though somehow my momentum has slowed down. I am not as ‘fighty’ as I was in the beginning, I have allowed lethargy to come in, I am not as disciplined and I really need to tidy my act together. In terms of worship, I feel as though, I need to be more disciplined in this. I find it difficult to express myself, like sometimes I can’t even speak just because I just don’t have the Words, but don’t get me wrong, I am still in awe, I just wish I had an appropriate expression in order to please God with.
Today, I learnt such a key lesson. I will never downplay my convictions or my standing with God in order to make someone feel ‘less condemned’ or ‘judge’. That’s what happened today and that is what I do with other Christians also. Why do I do this? The fear of man. Well, never again. I will be faithful and loyal to God, I don’t care who gets offended, that is the lesson that I am taking from today. Being righteous and unapologetic about it.
I am really struggling now, I lost my bible which is so painful and now I am reading NLT in the interim, the adjustment is interesting, but I find I have become attached to my actual bible rather than the Words inside which shouldn’t be the case.
One more thing, I really felt the presence of God towards the end of the day, I felt His love. We went out last night to the shop, I was hungry and I felt as though the Holy Spirit did not want me to have the thing that I craved, it’s not as though He was restricting me but I felt His heart. My sister said that she wanted it but of course I did too and would have ate some too, that would have been the plan just in case the Lord changed His mind. When I got home, my appetite just went, I didn’t care about my flesh, all I wanted to do was please my God with everything right down to me sacrificing my favourite food, ow God knows that is a big deal for me!
Anyway tomorrow is another day.