My goodness!!! Forty days in???!!! Time flies. The Lord is good. I am so tired right now but will keep this very brief. God has filled my heart with love! I love again!!!! Deeeeeep, sacrificial love. I want more, more love to be poured into me. My heart is still broken because of these people – that incident that happened. Really tired now.
Going to keep this one short and to the point. Today was a very strange one. Realised that I had ‘forgotten’ what God looks like. I keep doing this, I don’t walk in a constant revelation due to MY lack of faith, due to me NOT fully accepting the Word and resisting God’s love.
Anyway, it was a strange one today like I said. The day started off okay, listened to a sermon which enabled me just remember the beauty of God, then about halfway through the day, horrible news was broadcasted regarding a tower block incident. As the day unfolded my heart broke inside of me, I didn’t realise it would have affected me as much as it did.
I feel as though Papa is filling my heart with that love that I have been asking for, that unusual ravaging love for people. Today, I stood by my colleagues desk, had a bit of a lighthearted playful chat and she messaged me saying on the communicator app on the PC ‘thank you for coming to my desk and showing me love’. I know she wasn’t just saying that, I strongly feel that she felt Papa’s love through me. That is just so beautiful looking back.
On my way home, on the train, I saw this girl, quite big, crazy eyelashes, earphones plugged in, didn’t even pay her any attention. As I got nearer to my stop, I looked at the girl just casually, up and down, nothing to it, only to find she had no trousers on. I mean bare skin. She just had little knickers on. Bare legs. I caught one girl looking at me wanting to laugh but I ignored her. In my heart I thought that this was way too strange. I got off the train with this poor girl still in my head. As soon as I got off, I felt hit with immense guilt, I repented. I wish I could have got back on if the doors stayed open. What would I have done if I had got back on? I would have smiled at her, I would have spoken to her, I couldn’t tell you what I would have said but I would have shown her so much love. I then realised at this point that Papa has changed my heart. I didn’t feel PRESSURED to speak to her, I would have LOVED to speak to her, why? Because I LOVED her.
God is working on my heart and I am so grateful.