I am actually writing this account on Day 51. I have been so tired, you would not even believe. I feel bad. Today I felt a whole mix of emotions, I spent the day avoiding God because I felt guilty that I woke up this morning without spending enough time with Him before going to work. It wasn’t even that it wasn’t enough, I DIDN’T spend time with Him at all. So I avoided Him. I still am trying to get my head around God’s love. I find it hard to believe that He could love me so much and forgive me and actually forget my sins. So yeah, I spent the day avoiding Him because of my guilt. I have WAY too much pride. I also feel like I am sliding backwards, I haven’t read the Word in ages. I need to get to it. I had to take my ring back yesterday to get the stone replaced, but of course, I will still remember God’s commitment to me. If you see how tired I am. I pray today is a better day, I pray that I can get out of my pride. I still haven’t been able to even address my responsibilities in the Body of Christ due to my tiredness, I feel guilty. Everything just seems virtually impossible to balance.
Today I will read the Word, I want to see His heart again, I will read Genesis, a chunk of Isaiah and John. I am so tired. Today will be a real sacrifice.